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Waiting for Your Love (Echoes of the Heart) Page 5
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Page 5
She stroked Conrad’s cheek this time, his face frozen with shock beneath her touch.
“I’ll be consumed with business for the better part of the next two years,” she said. “Maybe longer. Just like my father made work his priority my entire childhood, no matter how little time that left for my mother or me or Ra. It wouldn’t happen overnight. Chandlerville would still be my home base for a while. But I’d be moving away, Conny, most likely before the end of the year. And PetClub would become my priority. How could we possibly figure us out with that going on?”
“You’re leaving?” Conrad had to have misheard her.
“Relocating.” Clair sounded excited, and sad.
“To Charlotte?”
She reached for him again.
He jerked back. “And you decided all of this without even talking with me? That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“I’m sorry, Conny. I—”
One second she seemed genuinely apologetic.
The next, she was hands-on-curvy-hips furious.
“Why on earth,” she said, “would I think I had to talk with anyone about my business? I’m a big girl, and up until a few minutes ago I had no reason to suspect there was anyone else to consider when it came to making decisions about my future.”
Anger had flushed her cheeks. And she was right to lay into him. She owed no one an explanation for how she ran her life or ALL PAWS. But she was weeks ahead of him, processing the reality that they could soon be living two states apart.
“I know this is a surprise.” She ran her fingers through blond curls that sprang back, releasing the fresh scent of her shampoo. “I’ve was trying to find a way to tell you last night, when I was…”
“Out with some dude? Only you ditched him and got drunk. And then I was the dude you called next, to exfiltrate yourself from your latest calamity?”
Her eyes rounded. “That’s not how I think of you.”
“How do you think of me?”
She’d frozen him out of a decision that could shape the rest of her life.
“I mean,” he said, “I’m fine being your safe place to land when you’re feeling low, or when your mother’s cornered you into another disaster of Don Lovette proportions. But…”
She simply couldn’t be leaving Chandlerville, quite possibly for good.
Her anger fizzled into a visible wave of guilt. “You’re not a convenience to me, Conrad. I’m sorry I’ve frozen you out of this. You know you’ve always been more than just someone to help me pick up the pieces when things go wrong.”
He did know that. Especially after the way she’d been there for him and Harper these last few years. He was taking this way too personally.
But how much more was he to her? And how did he support her this time, the way he’d promised he always would, while she made plans to leave him?
“Is PetClub why your mother’s been so worked up lately, even for her?”
Clair snuggled closer instead of answering. She wrapped her arms around his waist.
“Let me guess.” He kissed the top of her head, giving and taking comfort. “Barbara thinks that if you find the right guy here, you’ll—”
“Settle down in Chandlerville and give her more grandchildren.”
“Instead of giving birth to more business opportunities that will steal you away forever, the way her very successful businessman husband spends all his time and energy on the bank, rather than with his family.”
“And here you were today.” Clair hugged Conrad tighter. “Bravely walking into the lion’s den. Serving yourself up to my mother’s machinations like a thick, juicy steak.”
Conrad laughed, loving Clair’s spunky, sassy resilience. Even now. Nothing kept her down for long. “If I’m going to get eaten, can I at least be prime rib?”
“I tried to warn you”—she punched him for emphasis—“that today was a trap.”
“Or maybe I’m exactly where I needed to be.” He waited until her gaze lifted. “Mind telling me why all the secrecy?”
“It’s been really hard”—She blinked back a sheen tears—“Facing how much I’ll have to let go of, to follow my dreams.”
“Letting go of me, you mean?” That sounded promising.
“I’ll miss a lot about Chandlerville. My clients and friends. I’ll even miss my crazy mother and the rest of my family. But the last few years, you and I have gotten back what we had when we were kids, Conny. We’re stronger than ever, and I’ve wanted that for so long. I haven’t been able to face giving us up again.”
“Giving us up? Or dealing with what we might be? Are you honestly telling me this PetClub offer isn’t a little bit of a relief, where we’re concerned? You don’t have to make a choice now, right? You’re leaving. So there’s no way to know if we’d make it, or if we’d make a bust of being a couple.”
“That’s…” She shook her head. “I…”
He kissed her softly.
The truth was there in her eyes. In the things they’d already said.
You and me—dating—would be a bad thing?
If it’s not real, if we let things go too far and then realize after it’s too lake that we’ll never be able to go back to the way things were, yes!
If Clair tried to make a romantic relationship work with him, it would mean the possibility of failing. And her whole life, failing at love was the only thing he’d ever known her to be afraid of.
“You should have everything you’ve ever dreamed of, Clair Bear,” he told her. “And if on of those dreams is having a man in your life who worships you, then here I am. We’ve never tried us as a couple. Why rush into giving that up?”
Forehead wrinkled in confusion, she inhaled to respond.
His raised hand to stalled her.
“Let me be clear,” he added. “I do adore you as a friend. But for a while now, I’ve wondered if we’re becoming more than two people who’ve known each other all our lives. And I want to give the possibility of us having more a chance.”
She threw her arms around him, her elation swamping them both. “I can’t believe you’re really saying these things.”
“I’ve been an idiot, not telling you sooner.”
“But the timing, Conny…” She swiped at happy tears this time. Relief, tinged with pain. “PetClub is pretty much a done deal.”
“Pretty much is a good start.” He wiped the last of her sadness away, loving how she welcomed the intimacy of his touch.
“I want this merger,” she said. “For my business. For my future. I’m not going to back off from what’s best for ALL PAWS.” She gestured between them again. “What good will come from us dabbling in starting something now?”
“Dabbling?”
“As my mother’s so fond of pointing out, I’m not a long-term relationship girl, remember? I wouldn’t even know how to be part of a real couple. I’ve built my world around not knowing how. I refuse to cross over to Barbara’s dark side like Ra has, and settle for anything less than…”
“Someone who’ll be there for you, totally into you and the life you want, whatever that life is?”
Conrad waited her out.
“Aren’t we already like that for each other?” he prompted.
“Conny and Clair Bear… Friends forever.”
He winced at her resigned tone. “Friends aren’t allowed to want more?”
“I’m moving on, Conrad.” But hope sparkled in her crystal blue eyes. Hope and confusion and worry.
“Months from now.” He kissed where she was biting the corner of her lip. “We don’t have to have everything figured out today. We have months. I know we’re coming late to the party. But if you’re feeling anything close to what I am, we have to try.”
He held his breath, watching her take it all in.
She curled closer. “The deal. Us. My mother. Not to mention Harper and your life with him here in Chandlerville, while I’m cruising warp speed ahead into my escape plan. How does all of that work together?”
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He glanced around at the barbecue rocking along without them. “By us not letting go until we’re sure of what we want. Together, there’s no stopping us, Clair Bear. I’d dare anyone to try.”
Clair’s heart seemed to think she’d been running the final mile of a marathon.
I want to give the possibility of us having more a chance…
She was light-headed, her lungs fighting to take in air, and of course her best friend was there to steady her. Help her. Tempt her to dive headfirst into madness.
“Our mission objective is simple.” Conrad ran his hands up and down her arms, scattering goose bumps of excitement. “We date for real, keep everything else the same, and see where it takes us.”
“Starting now?”
She surveyed the blur of people around them, the wacky family she loved but had been planning to move away from to strike out on her own. Her mother and Rachael were walking over from the pool, leaving Clair no time to make up her mind.
“Right now.” Conrad sealed his challenge with the sweetest of kisses. “You’ve risked everything in business, and look how far you’re come. How about giving your heart the same opportunity to thrive?”
“And you want us to start thriving here.” She knew she must look as panic-stricken as she felt.
“Why waste another second of whatever time we have?” He nodded at the lawn sprawling beyond her shoulder. For a moment he seemed to be gazing at something miles away. “After what happened with Amanda, I’d be crazy to let another good thing slip away if I can stop it. And you and I could be a really good thing.” He smiled at the beautiful July afternoon. “I can’t think of a more perfect AO for—”
“Perfect what?”
“Area of operation.”
“Could you cut out the military jargon just this once?” She poked his chest with her finger.
He grabbed her hand and laughed. “As long as you’re on board. I—”
“Darlings!” Clair’s mother arrived, interrupting them as she kissed Clair’s cheek, and then Conny’s. “It’s wonderful to have you both here. Though I can’t tell you what a surprise it is to learn that you’re finally a couple.”
“Tell me about it,” Clair mumbled. At a tug from Conrad’s hand, she pasted on a smile. “I mean, we hadn’t planned to tell anyone yet. It was a total surprise to me this morning when he said he wanted to come to the barbecue.”
“Under the circumstances”—Conrad kissed her cheek—“How could I let her out of my sight?”
“You must mean the PetClub merger.” Ra glanced her surprise Clair’s way. “Does that mean the gag order’s rescinded, and the family can go public about you beating a path out of town?”
“Oh, let’s not bore everyone with business talk. Not today.” Barbara linked an arm through Conrad’s and led him away, leaving Clair and her sister to follow. “Though I’m counting on you, young man,” Babs continued, “to help talk my daughter out of this crazy merger notion. It’s beyond me why she’d want to leave a man like you behind.”
“Shoot me,” Clair begged Rachael. “Shoot me now.”
“Actually…” Conrad slowed their mother’s pace and reached a hand toward Clair. “I intend to help your daughter fight for everything she wants, wherever her dreams take her. I want her to be happy, just like you do.”
Barbara grinned like a seasoned social warrior. She’d never dream of being anything but gracious and accommodating on the outside. Even if an inferno were raging within, burning her to cinders.
“The happiness of my children is always my number one priority,” she purred in her sweetest-of-honey Southern drawl. “It’s just that all my youngest thinks she needs is work and business and dating casually, with nary a nod to settling down.”
“So you keep nodding for me?” Clair countered. “Like cornering first Travis and then Don on my behalf, and making them think I’m trolling for an engagement ring or worse?”
“How was I to know that you had such a wonderful choice waiting in the wings?” Barbara beamed at Conrad. “Your mother’s thrilled, too.”
“I’m sure she is,” he conceded.
“Having you living in town again, regardless of the unfortunate circumstances that brought you home, has been wonderful for Julianna. She’s so proud of how you’re raising Harper and making such a success of yourself at the hospital. And she’s known Clair since you two were babies. What could be lovelier?”
“I’m a lucky man. My work and family and life finally feel good again. For a long time I wondered if that day would ever come.” He drew Clair into a tender hug. “Your daughter was an integral part of bringing me back to life.”
Clair kissed his cheek, drawn in by his poignant depiction of her being a vital part of his and Harper’s once-more happy life. He cleared his throat before continuing.
“Which is why,” he said gruffly, “I wouldn’t dream of asking Clair to give up a single one of her dreams. Even if her work takes her away from Chandlerville.”
“You don’t mean that.” Barbara seemed genuinely baffled.
“He does mean it,” Clair answered, her heart blooming, and her excuses for not falling headfirst into Conrad’s offer fading away.
At least give it a chance…
He was on her side, unconditionally, the same as always. And he knew how skittish she was about love—even the prospect of wanting it with a man she already cared so deeply for.
No, there were no guarantees. They couldn’t promise each other everything yet. Certainly not forever. And sure, this could all turn into a huge mess at any moment, if one or both of them decided it wasn’t working. But this was Conrad. And she’d thought she was the only one wanting to get closer.
Now that she knew she wasn’t, their friendship could survive figuring the rest out. Right?
She pushed onto her tiptoes and kissed him soundly on the lips. His enthusiastic response blocked out the Cheshire-cat smile spreading across her mother’s face.
“If you’ll excuse us,” she said to Barbara and Rachael, who was gaping.
Conrad chuckled as Clair led him away. “Was that so hard?”
“That was fun.” She giggled. “Imagine rendering my sister speechless. Who’da thought that was possible?”
His hand felt like heaven, settling on the small of her back. “I’ve always said you can do anything you put your mind to.”
“You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, doing this with my entire family milling around us.”
“Wanna bet?”
Anticipation sizzled between them.
She stopped him before they reached a cluster of her cousins, the ones who’d driven down from nearby Athens. The honest passion—and compassion—in his expression settled the last of Clair’s clamoring nerves.
He’d wanted her, too, which was a priceless revelation. But more than that, her Conny had always believed in her, wanted the best for her, and vice versa. And that would never change.
“We’re going to be okay, you and me,” she promised out loud. “No matter what.”
“No matter what,” he agreed.
They stood there for several shocked seconds as the world shifted around and beneath and inside them.
Clair fought the survival instinct to turn back, to play it safe. Or maybe to stay right where they were now, forever, in this perfect place where nothing could possibly go wrong. When the truth was, if they didn’t move forward her heart would never know whether its dreams of her and Conrad and having it all together could be a reality.
And then, sharing one last kiss that left her aching, they turned as a couple to greet her aunt Adele’s oldest.
“Daddy!”
Harper bounded out of the Harper-size tent in his playroom. Clair stood beside Conrad in the doorway.
“Clair!” The little boy cheered next. “Ice cream now? Let me hold her.” He reached for Buster, whom he’d first met several weeks ago when Clair had last PAWSMatched for the miniature poodle. “Cupcake, Daddy? D�
�you bring me a cupcake?”
“No cupcakes or ice cream before dinner.” Conrad lifted his son over his head, twirling Harper around. “You’re a shameless mercenary, you know that? No hello. No ‘Daddy, I’ve missed you.’ No hug for Clair?”
She laughed at their happy portrait of a loving family. And at how Conrad had always made her feel so effortlessly a part of it.
“Hug, Clair!” Harper reached out his arms.
Her eyes stung a little at his exuberance. Her gaze connected with Conrad’s and held. His expression softened, making the moment even lovelier.
He contained his son’s full-body launch into her arms, softening the impact. With pastry on the line, Harper’s enthusiasm generally veered toward toppling whatever was in his path.
“Oof!” Clair exclaimed. “I’ll most definitely be packing cupcakes next time, if there’s a hug like this to look forward to.”
“Yay!”
Harper gave her a soupy raspberry of a kiss. Then his attention ping-ponged back to Buster.
“She’s so pretty,” he announced, perpetually confused by the gender of Clair’s canine charges.
“Yes”—Conrad smiled at Clair—“she’s very pretty.”
“Keep her forever.” Harper petted the tiny dog who looked more like a topiary. “I love her. Is she ours?”
He asked that a lot when Clair introduced him to a client. Many of whom were last-minute PAWSMatch’s like Buster, who became part of her day when their owners needed to be pet-free elsewhere.
Harper was as animal-obsessed as she’d been at his age. But Conny’s hectic schedule didn’t allow for bringing one more thing into their lives that needed taking care of.
“Buster belongs to someone else.” Clair ruffled Harper’s hair. “He’s not yours to keep.”
“But we could definitely use a little more love in this house.” Conrad smiled at Clair, and then winked at his son. “Right, buddy?”